Thank you, Wesley
(That's what we'd hoped to achieve)

We are grateful for this review on Amazon.com from Wesley G, who gives us hope that our book is doing what we hoped it would do: “An eye opener, and it is not restricted only to her religious organization. This book is so much more about mind control than the physical control exerted over the multiple wives.”

77% of readers: 4 or more stars!

The harm from institutionalized intrusion
into your (and your children’s) personal life

From within a cult, what should by all rights appall you may instead seem like a harmless or even a wholesome routine. A good example is the Mormon (LDS) Church’s institutionalized intrusion into members’ personal lives known as the “bishop’s interview.” It is a one-on-one meeting where your bishop asks you questions about your “personal worthiness.”

We recommend this post. (Click on the image.)

“I absolutely love that Joanne told her story
with accountability and humor. Her book is
witty, irreverent and very refreshing.”
—Sal

I am all too familiar with the story the author tells in this book; being a polygamist and first wife myself. The title “It's Not About the Sex” My Ass is the best title I've ever seen on a book about polygamy! I don't typically read polygamy books because the “poor me” perspective gets very old. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying at all that there isn’t abuse, neglect, mind control, oppression etc because there absolutely is. I think the numerous female authors describe very well how difficult it is to stand up for ones self and “buck” the system. They describe honestly how threatening it is to leave a society who was once family and friends, but who then become haters if you start to question the religion. While everyone has their own perspective and experience, there has to be some degree of personal responsibility taken as well though, from men AND women both. I have been a member my entire life and am currently still a member so I feel very qualified to make such a statement. Just sayin’...

A few chapters in, as Joanne described finding and marrying wife number two, I was breathing into a paper bag, completely nauseated and hyperventilating, as my own long-buried memories came bubbling to the surface. It was fantastic to read a frank, honest account of the feelings one goes through when that event happens. I felt like she barely scratched the surface though. Personally, I was much more interested in her perspective of the everyday grind of being a polygamous wife rather than the activities of the group as a whole. When you struggle with a sister wife, husband or the leaders, you don’t dare speak about it openly because doing so would only show your lack of commitment and your weak testimony. You ought as well tattoo “I SUCK” across your forehead for all in your church to read so they can feel justified in their righteous judgement of you. Instead, you suck it up, berate yourself and feel shame and guilt for being so weak. Personally, I think it’s the women in the church who wield the mightiest sword against each other. Often it’s the women who will have you believing all of the problems are your fault and that you have no other recourse than to beg your husband and God for forgiveness of your petty weaknesses. The women truly are the “neck that turns the head.” ....... stepping down off my soap box now .....

I absolutely love that Joanne told her story with accountability and humor. Her book is witty, irreverent and very refreshing. Accepting, living and leaving polygamy is a complicated head trip, not one that is as cut and dry as it seems to casual observer. Joanne’s description of her journey is very entertaining. Well Done!

Readers post new reviews on Amazon.com

★★★★★ “Very heartwrenching” From Claire F: “Excellent book. True from the heart. We all can be sucked into cults. I love the truthfulness in this book.” (May 29, 2013) ★★★★★ “Open and honest” From Timothy B: “An excellent book by a very entertaining person. It was hard to put down and I ended up reading it in one day.” (May 27, 2013)

Wow — mostly four and five stars! We’re grateful that readers seem to like “It’s Not About the Sex My Ass”

“All the belly laughs about subjects
from which one might never have imagined
that so much humor could be wrung”

Read the Free Inquiry magazine review here

We received our copy of the new issue of Free Inquiry magazine in today’s mail. What an honor!—page 58 is devoted to a review—a positive one, no less—of our book, “It’s Not About the Sex” My Ass. No less than Free Inquiry editor Tom Flynn writes, “... the most harrowing and intimate account of a woman’s life under contemporary Mormon polygamy is doubtless Carolyn Jessop’s Escape ... if Carolyn Jessop had fired her most capable coauthor, Laura Palmer, and teamed up with [former Daily Show head writer] David Javerbaum instead, the result might well have been ‘It’s Not About the Sex’ My Ass.” To read the entire review, you really should subscribe to Free Inquiry, or at least march down to your nearest bookstore and pick up a copy. Barring that, you could read on this website by clicking here or on the image at right.

Read Tom Flynn's review of “It’s Not About the Sex My Ass” by clicking the image above.

No, the Mormon church isn't using
Boy Scouts to bring back polygamy

Don’t expect the mainstream
Mormon church to reinstate official
polygamy anytime soon

Of Mormons and Mrs. God

Courageous!
Elizabeth Smart on why teaching “abstinence only” isn’t such a great idea

Coming soon: video interview with Joanne

May flowers are well and good, but May is really cool when it brings you a new interview with Joanne Hanks. Especially one on video! Jo is a little abashed about that, but Steve thinks it’s great. The interview, conducted by Spencer L Jensen of TrueBelievingMormons.com, will be posted in the third week of May. (Which, observed Jensen, “... Exmormon Mavens has declared as Sex Month.”) As soon as the interview is posted, we’ll provide a link, so be sure to check back.

Joanne Hanks interview to be on TrueBelievingMormons.com in the third week of May