Mormon studies scholar Richard Packham 
reviews “It’s Not About the Sex” My Ass
The Association for Mormon Letters website seems to be having difficulty. Fortunately, Packham also published his review on Amazon.com. The text is below. You can also read it on Amazon.com by clicking here.
★★★★★
​5.0 out of 5 stars 
A Hilarious Account of Life in Mormon Polygamy
August 22, 2013
by Richard Packham
​
This review is from: "It's Not About the Sex" My Ass (Paperback)
SEVERAL TIMES while reading this book I burst out laughing. My wife said, "Isn't that the book about polygamy? Polygamy isn't funny!"

I had to assure her that yes, this was the book about polygamy, and that it was damned funny.

My wife was certainly right about one thing: polygamy is generally not funny. Those who practice it are generally very serious, avoiding "loud laughter" as a religious commandment. And the effects it has on many of those who live it, and even those who leave it, are often the opposite of funny. I had to remind my wife, however, that she enjoys watching movies that are comedy treatments of subjects like murder, crime syndicates, and war. They are much more common than humorous treatments of polygamy. (I can only think of one: the film "My 5 Wives" with Rodney Dangerfield, which was simply absurd and had nothing to do with real-life Mormon polygamy.)

Books on polygamy have appeared in great numbers recently, with the public's general interest in it fueled by popular television shows, the widespread discussion of Mormonism during the last American presidential campaign, and even more by the prominence in the news of one of the many Mormon polygamous groups, the Fundamentalist LDS church. That group's place in the news has overshadowed the existence of other polygamous groups, one of which is described in this autobiography.

Joanne Hanks and her husband Jeff were regular Mormons (members of the largest Mormon group, the Salt Lake City church with millions of members world-wide, and now staunchly anti-polygamy). They became intrigued with the teachings of James Harmston, of Manti, Utah, who was the founder of a polygamous group which became known as "The True and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of the Last Days." Hanks says with relief that God allowed Harmston to call it simply the "TLC."

They joined Harmston's group five years into their monogamous Mormon marriage, moved to Manti, and Jeff quickly became the senior apostle of the new church. The couple devoted their lives to it. This book gives a frank and funny glimpse into life on that particular Mormon fringe.

Much of what Joanne relates in these pages was somewhat familiar to me, since soon after Jeff and Joanne left the Harmston group, Jeff Hanks turned up on my doorstep and wanted to talk. We had never met before, but he was obviously aware of my interest in all things Mormon, and he sat for two hours in my living room, telling his fascinating story. His was not nearly so funny as Joanne's, even though it covered much of the same ground. I had never before had the privilege of a long and private chat with an apostle.

​​Jeff, as chief apostle, was naturally required to take additional wives, and he added two: a young woman who was still immature in spite of her adult age, and an older divorcee who never quite fit in to the family. Problems quickly arose, not the least of which was the expectation that a plural marriage would produce children. Since Jeff had had a vasectomy before joining the TLC, a miracle would
be required. It never happened, and the younger still-fertile wife was handed on to Harmston.

​As Harmston's theology developed, things got weirder (and funnier). The apostles toured the country, visiting each state capital to curse its government, while clothed in the Robes of the Holy Priesthood (but wearing a white apron rather than the green one that Lucifer had given Adam and Eve in the Mormon temple), and standing on the grounds of every Mormon temple to do the same. Harmston came to believe in a kind of reincarnation (called "multiple probations") and, through Harmston's first wife, conducted seances to learn who had been who. Harmston, it turned out, was naturally the reincarnation of Joseph Smith.

A major doctrinal problem arose as to whether a man could share his bed with two (or more) of his wives at the same time. A major schism almost occurred, with the pro-threesome faction and the anti-threesome faction almost equally divided. Eventually God told the prophet: no threesomes. Apparently there are limits.

Like all prophets who predict the date of the Second Coming of Christ and/or the End of the World, Harmston and his group worked hard to get ready for the day, prophesied by Harmston, when Christ would return to the Manti temple, turn it over to the TLC, slay the wicked, and have a huge feast for the righteous surviving few and the accompanying angels. Mounds of food were bought and stored in a rented refrigerator truck. The women baked thousands of "Jesus cookies," hoping that the Lord would like them. A back-hoe was in readiness, to dig mass graves for all the sinners whose bodies would be littering the ground.

The Hanks found it difficult to accept the prophet's ingenious explanation of why the expected event did not seem to take place (some kind of time-warp). Eventually they left, and ultimately separated and divorced, apparently not for reasons connected with their polygamous experience.

This book demonstrates that even serious things can have their comical side. The author also shows that not all Mormon polygamous groups are the same. Unlike the FLDS, whose women are shown in news photos with odd hair-dos and pastel uniform-like ankle-length dresses, the TLC women wore make-up and nice clothes. Nor were TLC members as violent and bloody as the polygamous groups that produced the Lafferty brothers or the LeBarons.

"It's not about the sex" is a very quick read, and it really is not about the sex. We might have liked to hear more about other aspects of life in the TLC. Very little mention is made of the children (the Hanks have two daughters, born in their monogamous pre-TLC life), even though it is often the children who are most sadly damaged by living in polygamous families.

Of the dozens of recent books authored by those who escaped from polygamous groups, this one is unique and worth a read.

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