“It's Not About The Sex” My Ass
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More on Harmston

6/28/2013

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From The Salt Lake Tribune archives:
“Polygamist James Dee Harmston’s hex, wives and videotape”

We give the Tribune high marks for that headline, which ran with an article about James Dee Harmston in 1998. The hex it in the headline referred to a “curse”* of black skin that Harmston had pronounced upon Mormon apostle Boyd K. Packer, evidently yet to be fulfilled. Click here to read the article. (We recommend this one, too.)
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Our hearts go out to those who mourn Harmston. Humanity demands. Yet integrity demands that we not lose sight of what Harmston was and what he did. There is a lesson of warning in there. Harmston was a deluded, manipulative cult leader, a charlatan. His actions hurt many, many people and will continue to do so as long as the cult he founded carries on.
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*In quotes, because we happen to think that black skin hardly constitutes a curse.
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TLC “prophet” dead at 72

6/27/2013

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James Dee Harmston: dead today at 72

“Prophet” of The True and Living Church of
Jesus Christ of Saints of the Last Days
– you know, the one we talk about in the book –
and claimed reincarnation of Jesus Christ, 
Joseph Smith and others deceased today

James Dee Harmston, prophet-founder of The True and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of the Last Days, which he mercifully allowed adherents to abridge to “the TLC,” died today of a heart attack. He was 72.

Harmston is a principal figure in the book “It’s Not About the Sex” My Ass, the popular memoir by Joanne Hanks, who spent seven years in the TLC before coming to her senses and leaving.

At various times, Harmston claimed to be the reincarnation or, depending, the incarnation of God the Father, Jesus Christ, Holy Ghost, Martin Luther and others. He also claimed to be the reincarnated Joseph Smith, founder of the original Mormon church. Thus, not surprisingly, his followers see no small significance in the fact that Harmston died today, of all days, because in 1844—cue eerie music—Joseph Smith himself died on June 27.

Harmston suggested more than once that Joanne should join his growing collection of plural wives. Though she accepted Harmston as a prophet during most of her time as a member of his cult, accepting him as a husband tempted her not in the least. Even though he went on record as having received a revelation in which God affirmed that he was “a celestial stud service.”

Cults do not die with their leaders. The TLC will likely prove no exception. Reported contenders for Harmston’s position include TLC “apostle’’ Matt Larson, whose stature within the cult has been steadily growing; Dan Simmons, Harmston’s son-in-law, whose wife (that would be Harmston’s daughter) seems to show by her actions that she accepts polygamy only for other men in the cult; and Harmston’s son Johnny.

We predict that a contest for the reins will result in schisms. Why not? It happened when Joseph Smith died. Contending factions are still bickering.
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Knocking on virtual doors

6/24/2013

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Mainstream Mormon missionary
effort takes to the Internet

Yesterday the Mormon Church—the mainstream one—announced that its tradition of door-to-door sales will be giving way to selling via the Internet. Elder L. Tom Perry said, “The world has changed. The nature of missionary work must change if the Lord will accomplish his work.” Click here to read about the church’s announcement in The Salt Lake Tribune.
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Token Skeptic interview working again

6/23/2013

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Kylie Sturgess of the Australian podcast Token Skeptic interviews Joanne Hanks

Our thanks to the fan who let us know that the link to Joanne's interview with Kylie Sturgess wasn’t working. As a result, we replaced the link this morning with an audio file. Now you need never worry about a link again — just click the PLAY arrow. Want to listen to the interview now? Click the PLAY arrow below.
Remember: You can always find this and Joanne's other interviews by clicking on “Podcasts / Interviews” in the menu bar above. Don’t feel like scrolling up? OK, OK, just click here.
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Kylie Sturgess of Token Skeptic podcast
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Not just about religion

6/18/2013

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Thank you, Wesley
(That's what we'd hoped to achieve)

We are grateful for this review on Amazon.com from Wesley G, who gives us hope that our book is doing what we hoped it would do:
“An eye opener, and it is not restricted only to her religious organization. This book is so much more about mind control than the physical control exerted over the multiple wives.”
4 or 5 stars!
77% of readers: 4 or more stars!
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A fellow former plyg wife weighs in

6/18/2013

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“I absolutely love that Joanne told her story
with accountability and humor. Her book is
witty, irreverent and very refreshing.”
—Sal

Our thanks to ex-polygamist wife Sal, who posted this review of “It’s Not About the Sex” My Ass on Amazon.com yesterday:
I am all too familiar with the story the author tells in this book; being a polygamist and first wife myself. The title “It's Not About the Sex” My Ass is the best title I've ever seen on a book about polygamy! I don't typically read polygamy books because the “poor me” perspective gets very old. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying at all that there isn’t abuse, neglect, mind control, oppression etc because there absolutely is. I think the numerous female authors describe very well how difficult it is to stand up for ones self and “buck” the system. They describe honestly how threatening it is to leave a society who was once family and friends, but who then become haters if you start to question the religion. While everyone has their own perspective and experience, there has to be some degree of personal responsibility taken as well though, from men AND women both. I have been a member my entire life and am currently still a member so I feel very qualified to make such a statement. Just sayin’...

A few chapters in, as Joanne described finding and marrying wife number two, I was breathing into a paper bag, completely nauseated and hyperventilating, as my own long-buried memories came bubbling to the surface. It was fantastic to read a frank, honest account of the feelings one goes through when that event happens. I felt like she barely scratched the surface though. Personally, I was much more interested in her perspective of the everyday grind of being a polygamous wife rather than the activities of the group as a whole. When you struggle with a sister wife, husband or the leaders, you don’t dare speak about it openly because doing so would only show your lack of commitment and your weak testimony. You ought as well tattoo “I SUCK” across your forehead for all in your church to read so they can feel justified in their righteous judgement of you. Instead, you suck it up, berate yourself and feel shame and guilt for being so weak. Personally, I think it’s the women in the church who wield the mightiest sword against each other. Often it’s the women who will have you believing all of the problems are your fault and that you have no other recourse than to beg your husband and God for forgiveness of your petty weaknesses. The women truly are the “neck that turns the head.” ....... stepping down off my soap box now .....

I absolutely love that Joanne told her story with accountability and humor. Her book is witty, irreverent and very refreshing. Accepting, living and leaving polygamy is a complicated head trip, not one that is as cut and dry as it seems to casual observer. Joanne’s description of her journey is very entertaining. Well Done!
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Another way cults harm followers

6/16/2013

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The harm from institutionalized intrusion
into your (and your children’s) personal life

From within a cult, what should by all rights appall you may instead seem like a harmless or even a wholesome routine. A good example is the Mormon (LDS) Church’s institutionalized intrusion into members’ personal lives known as the “bishop’s interview.” It is a one-on-one meeting where your bishop asks you questions about your “personal worthiness.”
Ex Mormon Mavens graphic
We recommend this post. (Click on the image.)
Some of the questions are seemingly innocuous, like whether you observe the church’s prohibition on coffee, tea and booze. But some are deeply intrusive, such as questions about your sexual behavior. Mind you, a bishop receives no formal training in social work, much less medicine. He (always a he) is an ordinary neighbor who has been “called by inspiration” to lead you for five or so years.

If that fails to creep you out, consider that bishops conduct annual “worthiness interviews” with children, beginning at age 12. Ironically, a culture that generally opposes sex education in school sees no harm in letting an adult male neighbor ask their kids about what they do with their genitals.

The interview itself is a form of child sexual abuse.

Sometimes the interview gives kids ideas. The Mormon church is rife with tales of parents who ask their kids, “What on earth gave you the idea to try that?” only to be told, “I never heard of it until the bishop asked if I’d ever done it.”

When an organization makes your personal business its own, it erodes your individuality, your will to be yourself, and your ability to recognize it and stand up to it when authority overreaches. This is a cult hallmark.

No wonder a good number of people raised Mormon fall prey when yet more oddball cults come along, from polygamy to political extremism.

For a stirring story of standing up to a cult, we commend to you this post by “Scarlet A” on the website Ex Mormon Mavens. It is a lovely tribute to her father who helped her stand up to cult abuse. We hope not just Mormons but all parents read it.
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We love it when readers write reviews

6/1/2013

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Readers post new reviews on Amazon.com

★★★★★ “Very heartwrenching”
From Claire F: “Excellent book. True from the heart. We all can be sucked into cults. I love the truthfulness in this book.” (May 29, 2013)

★★★★★ “Open and honest”
From Timothy B: “An excellent book by a very entertaining person. It was hard to put down and I ended up reading it in one day.” (May 27, 2013)
Reader reviews of It's Not About the Sex My Ass
Wow — mostly four and five stars! We’re grateful that readers seem to like “It’s Not About the Sex My Ass”
★★★★★ “Humorous and well written”
From Rod: “This is a short book and hard to put down once started. It is written by a woman about her true experiences in a Mormon polygamist cult. I’m an agnostic so I had no problems with it but it’s not recommended for Mormons. It all started when her husband announced he was going to join. She ended up divorcing him.” (May 26, 2013)
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    What's the difference between a cult and a religious cult? Click here.

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