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Polygamist saved by a long prayer

1/22/2016

Long prayer helps
plyg escape

“I hate long prayers.”

If you ever doubted that God is on the side of the polygamist FLDS church, maybe this will convince you.

Blissfully unaware that the FBI was lying in wait to seize him, Bishop Lyle Jeffs, brother of notorious FLDS prophet Warren Jeffs, was calmly presiding over a church service. Eyes surely rolled when he called upon one Jim Allred to offer the invocation. Allred had a reputation for interminable prayers, and this one was no exception. So it was that, when FBI agents stormed in, Allred was not yet even halfway through his drone. FLDS members beseeched the agents for time to finish their prayer. This befuddled and delayed the agents and gave Lyle just enough time to escape.

Lyle could have asked anyone to offer that prayer. If you think that his feeling inspired to call on Brother Allred wasn’t a miracle, then no other instance of serendipity, coincidence, or dumb luck is likely to convince you, either.

For details, see this story in The Salt Lake Tribune.

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Mormon nutcases seize wildlife sanctuary (only figuratively a joke)

1/5/2016

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“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction
is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn’t.”
—Mark Twain

Proof there are ways
other than polygamy to
be a Mormon nutcase

The memes are pouring in. Click images to enlarge. More on the Snacks for YallQuaeda Facebook page.

This true story, which continues unfolding as we write, smacks of a script from the “Family Guy” reject pile.

On Saturday, January 2, brave-brave-brave armed nutcases from Nevada took over a quiet wildlife refuge in southeastern Oregon. Their motivation? To make the United States Gubment back down from having convicted their buddies of arson on a mere technicality. Said buddies had willfully and illegally set fire to gubment property. The technicality was that arson is a crime defined as “willfully and illegally setting fire to property.”

To the embarrassment of the Mormon Church, the nutcases made it known that they are fully believing, practicing Mormons. The ringleader even referred to himself as “Captain Moroni,” after a Book of Mormon commander who led a revolt to defend religion, freedom, peace, and families.

Yesterday, January 4, the Mormon Church released this statement:

“... Church leaders strongly condemn the armed seizure of the facility ... This armed occupation can in no way be justified on a scriptural basis ...”

The statement falls short of the classic “woe unto you” rhetoric the Mormon god is famous for, but then, it’s not as if the armed nutcases are guilty of anything so heinous as having parents in a gay relationship.

They are, however, guilty of poor planning. They have put out a call to supporters—assuming such exist—for snacks, toiletries, foil, towels, and laundry detergent.

For the most part, the nation is relaxing and having a good chuckle over the brave-brave-brave armed nutcases. Rightly so. As for the gubment, it is wisely taking its time dealing with this mini powder keg.

One wonders if the nutcases realize how fortunate they are to be white and Christian (setting aside that Born-Again Christians dispute the latter claim). Were they black and/or Muslim, they would already be dead.

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African Americans need not apply?

1/2/2016

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Utah is home to new
“Whites Only” dating site

Late Mormon Apostle Mark E. Peterson
would have approved

Before the Mormon Church ceased barring blacks from the priesthood, it was not unusual to hear remarks, official remarks, the likes of the excerpt at right. It was taken from a 1954 speech by Mormon Apostle Mark E. Peterson at Brigham Young University during the Convention of Teachers of Religion on the College/Online College Level. You can read the whole damning speech by clicking here.

But today we are told that racism in the Mormon Church is a thing of the past. On June 1, 1978, when the church caught up with the 60s by allowing all races to hold its priesthood, instantly racism vanished from Utah. After all, when the prophet speaks, Mormons fall into line.

Except, that is, for the exceptions.

Lots and lots of exceptions.

The latest? A “Whites Only” dating site. Spawned and headquartered in—where else?—Utah. Click here to read the Salt Lake Tribune article.

Race Problems
As They Affect
The Church

From a 1954 speech
by late Mormon Apostle
Mark E. Peterson

(Read the entire damning
speech by clicking here)

“The discussion on civil rights ... has blinded the thinking of some of our own people ... We who teach in the Church certainly must have our feet on the ground and not to be led astray by the philosophies of men on this subject.

I think I have read enough to give you an idea of what the Negro is after. He is not just seeking the opportunity of sitting down in a cafe where white people eat. He isn't just trying to ride on the same streetcar or the same Pullman car with white people. It isn't that he just desires to go to the same theater as the white people. From this, and other interviews I have read, it appears that the Negro seeks absorption with the white race. He will not be satisfied until he achieves it by intermarriage. That is his objective and we must face it. We must not allow our feelings to carry us away, nor must we feel so sorry for Negroes that we will open our arms and embrace them with everything we have. Remember the little statement that we used to say about sin, "First we pity, then endure, then embrace ...”

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Polygamist saved by a long prayer

Long prayer helps​plyg escape

Mormon nutcases seize wildlife sanctuary (only figuratively a joke)

Proof there are waysother than ​polygamy to​be a Mormon nutcase

African Americans need not apply?

Utah is home to new“Whites Only” dating site

Late Mormon Apostle Mark E. Peterson ​​would have approved

Archives

Long prayer helps
plyg escape

Proof there are ways
other than polygamy to
be a Mormon nutcase

Utah is home to new
“Whites Only” dating site

Late Mormon Apostle Mark E. Peterson
would have approved