Over 150 reviews ​and counting! We are grateful for every review. Even the negative ones, since—yes, this is a boast—their sparsity only calls attention to the 90 percent that are positive. We’re aware of well over 150 reviews, but most (138 of them, to be exact) appear on Amazon. (JAN 27 UPDATE: Now it’s 139 on Amazon.) The latest five-star* review comes from fellow ex-polygamist wife Stephany Spencer. There can be no higher compliment than from someone who has been through it:

​I don't usually do book reviews, for lack of time. But this book was so good I listened to it straight through, on Audible, and also bought the book! I am an Ex-FLDS, Escapee of Joel LeBaron's cult, and a recovering Mormon. So I found the story, humor, and satire extra super, given that I could relate to it all firsthand!

Still so rebbed up from this excellent and well-written book, to help come down from my high after having listened to it straight through non-stop, I had to write a bit about how I think it is one of the best books I've ever listened to -- a classic. The narrator, also, couldn't have been better! I only wish I had words and time to give it the best review any expert writer could.

It not only is a true view of what polygamy and Mormon cults are all about, but gives some good advice, too, on how to avoid one -- or how to get out of one if you find yourself in one.

“It’s Not About the Sex” My Ass just received its 100th reader review on Amazon

An average of 4.1 out of 5 stars. THANK YOU, readers!

“I've read a bunch of books on polygamy, 
this one by far has been my favorite.”
—Jason V.B.

Joanne has too much class to tell you she 
rocked at this year’s Sunstone Symposium.

I, having no such compunction, will 
flat-out tell you. She rocked.

It was SRO—Standing Room Only—at Joanne Hanks’s presentation at this year’s Sunstone Symposium. The turnout surprised Joanne, who does not suffer from even the tiniest of delusions of self-importance. It is one of her many endearing traits. As for me, I am never surprised when she draws a crowd. If you attended, thank you, and I need hardly tell you that Joanne was engaging, entertaining, and informative. If you weren’t able to attend, not to worry: we are at work on recording the presentation so that we can post it to this site.

Lousy photo from Steve’s iPhone, which was hanging upside-down from a fire sprinkler head.

Here are the first listener reviews

Here are early listener reviews of the audiobook. If you prefer reading them on the Audible.com website, click here. ★★★★★ A Serious Tale Told With  Honesty, Wit & Humor By Dennis Asbury | July 1, 2015 Would you listen to 'It's Not About the Sex' My Ass again? Why? I will certainly listen again because it is just that interesting and entertaining. What did you like best about this story? I most appreciated the author's candor about her own acceptance of religious ideas and practices that many listeners and readers will no doubt think are outlandish. Her descriptions of her gradual acceptance of ever more strange doctrines and the gradual lifting of the veil of belief to reveal the absence of truth at the core of the True and Living Church. Which character – as performed by Kimberly Ellington – was your favorite? The story is told in the first person from the author's point of view. The tone is conversational and occasionally reminded me of Julia Sweeney's delightful "Letting Go of God". Ms Hanks' story is not a stand-up comedy routine. It is a serious story about real people in the grip of a strange and potentially dangerous ideology. Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry? It made me sad and then it made me laugh. The greatest benefit I derived from Ms Hanks' story was being reminded that none of us are immune to being bamboozled. As Carl Sagan said "“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” Ms Hanks and her readers are fortunate that she was eventually able to recognize the bamboozle.

★★★★★ Cult or religion? By Adam | May 5, 2015 Great insight into polygamy and the Mormon religion. I like the remarks of the author and her story of coming out of a cult. ★★★★★ Honestly told with all the humor needed to endure. By PattyQB | July 12, 2015 By PattyQB | July 12, 2015 How refreshing it is to listen to this woman's story told simply and clearly about her complex journey through religious fanaticism. Most of all I salute her choice of stand-up comedian / philosopher in her path back to sanity. No spoilers here; but I will say that I'm about to start enjoying this book again right away now that I KNOW recovery was so honestly and completely achieved.

See if you can guess who read the book before writing an iTunes review

Captivating! 
★★★★★
by EMcRory

I bought this book while at Heathrow airport on my way back to Vancouver BC. I read the entire book on the flight, which required me to stay up all night to do so. That gives you an idea of how fun this was to read. I think I found it interesting because I went to a dental school where 30 percent of the students were Mormon. I had heard rumors about things Mormons believe but didn't really believe them at the time. This book confirmed my suspicions! You can't believe the craziness until you are a Mormon yourself or until you read this book. Totally fascinating! I was also thrilled that the author came out a better person in the end. Good for her for following her instincts!

Wrong Mormons 
★☆☆☆☆
by tanner77

This book is not about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints nor its members who have not practiced polygamy in about 150 years and who have distanced themselves from splinter groups that try to practice polygamy. The difference between the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and these polygamous splinter groups is like night and day despite what the bigoted prejudices of some people would fool you into believing.

From 

“What a clever writer 
and enjoyable read”

to 

“NOT FUNNY”

Not without difficulty, today we resist the 
urge to publish only positive reviews

I was drawn to this book by its outrageous title ... As someone who has herself written a memoir on a very serious subject, I just had to see how one could write "funny" about something sad ... Joanne Hanks had me turning pages in no time. Her opening chapter was riveting. She was laughing and I laughed with her ... She's also my kind of writer, one who doesn't waste the reader's time, padding the facts with unnecessary detail that doesn't move the story along. Not all of us have time, or even want to analyse characters. Some of us just like an absorbing, quick read that enlightens us to worlds and societies unlike those in which we live. This is what Joanne gives us in this book and she's done it all with humour. How very clever!

How refreshing to share this light-hearted view of Joanne's experience because it left a memorable impression.

In Mormonese this book was a "hoot". I laughed until tears started coming when reading about the Second Coming not really coming. They waited a couple of days after the predicted date, and then decided to go home and wait for a phone call if/when Jesus showed up because they had established a "phone tree". That's so Mormon. She gives an interesting insight into what the women get out of this kind of arrangement: a pride in being involved in a family with more wives than the family next door. A sort of "hurts so good" situation that ultimately starts to just plain old hurt. Funny and informative. A little more depth would have been great.

As someone on the outside looking in, I am strangely fascinated by any sort of cult-like mini-society, and the closest I have gotten to experiencing that sort of life, is by reading about others' first-hand experiences.

The positives about Ms. Hanks' book have been listed by numerous other reviewers: it is mostly funny, it is an easy read, it is an uncommon take on a story similar to which other authors had told before her.

However... While it certainly stands out when it comes to pure entertainment value, if you're — like I am — on the outside looking in, and crave some sort of insight into how and why someone ends up completely engulfed by a cult, and what it really is that finally makes them get away, you will get little - if any - of that from Ms. Hanks' book. To me, it seems like one day she and her husband were suddenly in a cult, fully embracing all the craziness, and later, they were suddenly out, done with not only the cult, but religion as well, altogether.

If you're looking for a fun read on the subject of polygamy and/or cults, I believe you will love this book. If you're looking to try and understand what had led Ms. Hanks to join and, later, quit the cult, you will be left without answers.

NOT FUNNY.

Praise from 
Paula Poundstone

Yes, the Paula Poundstone

Guess which book (memoir) Paula described from the stage? ... Paula loved the book, by the way.  She mentioned that the author had given her a copy of the book at a previous Utah visit ... [she] loved the title. Talked about the basics of the story, and related the dinner for Jesus (the guest of honor who never showed up). We have been Paula Poundstone fans for years. Almost exactly a year ago, we attended her Park City, Utah, performance. She was wonderful. We laughed ourselves silly. Afterward, as Ms. Poundstone signed for us a CD we had purchased there, Joanne gave her a copy of “It’s Not About the Sex” My Ass. We hoped that Ms. Poundstone would read and enjoy it, but we knew the odds were slim. More likely, we reasoned, a maid would find it the next day in the hotel room trash.

If Paula Poudnstone ever performs anywhere near you, GRAB A TICKET AND SHOW UP. You will never laugh harder. Or more.

“I really enjoyed this book 
and could hardly put it down”

New reader reviews on Amazon.com

★★★★☆ Interesting book
—robinsonmron
It had good points, I liked the easy way the author described what she went thru and she became a stronger woman

★★★★☆ Informative and delightful
—Patricia S
This book is a book about LDS (Mormon) polygamy. It is also a biographical and painful story of a woman finding her way in this country and world system It took me a few chapters to get used to her almost caustic style of writing. When I discovered it came from a writer with a great sense of humor I began to really enjoy what I read
     It was easy for me to identify with a young woman who appeared to be shy, compliant, felt ugly and unloved with almost no self confidence. She grew and changed and changed as her story progresses and will most likely change some more. Even the writing style changes as the book progresses
     I really enjoyed this book and could hardly put it down. Logic and human nature tells me that this is what polygamy is like on the most intimate level. When religion and fear of losing one's eternal reward is added to the mix it becomes a scary type of bondage.
     I would strongly recommend this book and would encourage Joanne Hanks to consider writing fiction and delighting her public some more.

★★★★☆ The title says it all
—Bebeon November 22, 2014
An honest and thought-provoking look into what leads some people to non-mainstream religious lifestyles and keeps them there--or not. I appreciated the author's attempts to sift through her own beliefs, accept personal responsibility and not be judgmental, but eventually, she trusted her own feelings. Of particular note is that, while one major stated purpose of polygamy (as I understand it) is to raise up many righteous children, in this instance, her husband could not have any more children, but still wanted as many wives as possible. If not for children, and if it's not about the sex, then what? Interesting.

★★★★★ Five Stars
—Bill W
Very fun book, you'll learn a lot about the “fundamentalist LDS church”

★★★★☆ Insightful view into the cult mindset
—Anonymous
Funny and revealing insight to the minds of cultists. I know Joanne Hanks is not typical of members of the various Mormon sects, but she provides clear evidence that people will wholeheartedly believe the doubtful and even blatantly false tenets of a religion. Its a quick read and rolls along well. Especially make sure you read Steven Novella's clear description of what constitutes a cult, found at the end of the book.

★★★★★ it must have been very painful for her
—micheleon
I have read a lot on the Mormon religion, and this book really put it out there, and truthfully, it must have been very painful for her, but she let us in a very enlightening time in her life.

★★★★★ Five stars
—Nancy W
Sad story. I was outraged!

★★★★★ Five stars
—Anonymous
Very funny, as well as an insightful look into another culture.