Mormon Church says there’s a Mrs. God

Hi Mom!

Mormon Church: God Has a Wife

In the latest of a series of essays designed to take belated ownership of inconvenient issues as if they had always been out from under the rug, yesterday the Mormon church officially acknowledged that there is indeed a Mrs. God.

The notion of God’s having a better half is something of a “yeah, so?” to anyone well acquainted with Mormonism. Mormons have been singing that there’s a mom in heaven in their musically interminable hymn “O My Father” since 1845. 

​The doctrine of a Mrs. God follows from the church’s revelation on polygamy, which says that to attain god-status one must enter into “the new and everlasting covenant of marriage.” Ergo, on the not unreasonable assumption that God has attained god-status, we can infer that God has a wife, ergo, we have a heavenly mom.

What’s more, God is most likely a polygamist. After all, the same revelation establishes that polygamy, too, is a requirement for god-status. Ergo you most likely have heavenly aunts. Oddly enough, the essay doesn’t bring that up.

We couldn’t find any renderings of Mrs. God, so here’s one of Ceres, who is just as real.